Social Network Scoop

 

It is Holy Week and with it are the ultra modified ways of observance alongside the digitally enhanced society. This is when abstinence perceptibly takes off and individuals hold themselves deliberately from the hefty indulgence on earth. Last year, for exactly 40 days, I challenged myself to an absolute milktea-free system. It was painstakingly appeasing and I survived (Yes, I'm not exaggerating).

 

My gaze was yanked to this neoteric piece of  technology at my desk, a laptop. And then an idea suddenly plummeted into a free fall inside the saner side of my head, what if for at least 3 days we go entirely shunned from the cyber milky way? What if the 2.5 billion internet users and their social networking accounts go off the radar for just a while?  The oxymoron called deafening silence will conclusively be justified I assume, but there is totally no surge of motivation in my life right now for me to take up this dare, blatantly. 

 

Assuming we all participate, these are the top 4 things these SN sites will definitely miss about us & in the same way, the top 4 things we will definitely miss about them:

 

 BATTLE OF THE WALLS

 

The digital way of ruining somebody's life and divulging scandalous things by posting on the profile wall of a site user. It is a destructive way of some people who are  seeking revenge because of numerous reasons like being cheated on, being the subject of a buzzing gossip, some long forgotten debts, petty cat-fights on teens or even grave threats on scammers. Funny how in a simple two-liner statement, one could be the subject of ruthless judgements. We witness pointless word wars everyday, and you could instantly point out those who take advantage of the heat and spice up the conversation even more (sawsawero & sawsawera in Filipino).Your friend's enemy becomes yours too, and together you destroy a life in front of your foe's 1000+ friends or 300+ followers. 

 

It can also be a posted statement or a subtweet (subliminal tweet) that may not directly mention a person. Pretty safe when read by the innocent but produces the same catastrophic result for the guilty party. A piece of advice though, spell check & grammar check should be your best buds before hitting the post button or else the grammar police will forcibly pull you over just to humiliate you.

 

 

 

 

UNPAID FOOD WHORES

   

The automatically posted photos of food right before devouring them, popularly known as food pornography. Perhaps the most liked moment on any social media, this type of post is one of my favorites as well. It gives people an over-all idea on where to dine next, what to eat when you try a newly opened bistro or simply promote a new food product that you think should gain the publicity. For others this is a bit of irking, kinda like blustering a lifestyle that some might not afford. But if you think your photography skills were honed enough, I say go ahead and take that snap shot before starting to nibble on. This is an excellent marketing strategy for some business companies that we all freely & willingly do for the love of one thing that brings people closer, food.

 

 

 

 

SELFIE PHOTOS

 

A single or multiple shots of one person posted on the internet with caption or quote about beauty, love or personality. A favorite target of relentless onslaught among netizens and the topmost annoying form of vanity. For me, I find it as a powerful form of self-expression especially when done in a classy, portfolio kind of way & of course, not in a regular basis. So whether you are a peroxide beauty, a stunning brunette or even a bourgeois with overflowing confidence, over-doing it ruins the purpose. It pisses your friends especially when their timelines are flooded with your duck face or pouty, red lips. At a different perspective, this is human being as a whole. We all need some tiny bit of admiration once in a while, but you have to carefully step on it so as not to be labeled as attention seeking you know what word follows. Accept the fact you could be & would be judged even if you have edited your picture using the latest app and you have spent a large chunk of fortune on make up & wardrobe because even famous celebrities go through this kind of scrutiny.

 

SOCIAL CLIMBING SHENANIGANS

 

 

The contaminants of the high society, the ever popular, the ever wealthy, the ever gorgeous, the ever smart people who are all over the fudging place. They multiply in a throughput akin to viruses, their life is spiraling in a tailspin & remarkably unstoppable. Signs: photos of designer & high-end brand they recently purchased, check-in at 5-star places & coolest spots, hanging out with beautiful people. Aside from the most hated, i think they are also the most arbitrated amongst the social network users. One part of me says that it is natural to be proud of the things you possess, especially if all came from hard earned money while the other side questions if it is completely necessary to show off. Since freedom of expression still exists, this lies entirely on the social network user's prerogative. So what if we post fabulous things that we have? It's not like everyone has it. And on the other hand, so what if they have those 40 grand bags? It's not like they own the world. They say that everything comes with a price, and the tag of a social climber is indeed expensive.

 

 

 

 

If one day abstinence that compels people to not surf the worldwide web will become mandatory, we will all undoubtedly yearn for the circus that our social network has become. It's dirty, it's fun and most important of all, it reconnects you to people you haven't been in touch for ages. I couldn't be more relieved that we are not obliged to give it up even for a day because that would mean devastation. Social addicts, exploit the privilege in our internet lives, we may never know but in a few years, this too may become obsolete & ancient.  

 

 

 

Ravings about a CONSPICUOUS STALKER

Ever got inkling towards someone impertinently prying your socials, as if this scoke spends some considerate time chewing every smashed squirt of word from your blog and twitter posts? You were nonchalant for as long as you remember, and for a while it conceitedly caught you in a little bit of self indulgent realm that this someone’s probably merely admiring you. But things got out of control, the person annoyingly veered off from people’s normal path and unconsciously displayed some stalking potentials. The snooping alone tempts you to wreak havoc and what is insanely frustrating is that you still have the sulkiness to NOT even negate what’s going on.

 

It isn’t exactly what you call a triumph of human intellectuality when she started to sound unbelievably like you & suddenly became interested on the things you are passionately obsessed with while vexingly claiming how ORIGINAL she is. You grew sick of her everyday exaggerated jargon. She has gone as far as tweeting topics same as yours, using the exact words you used; posting music by an artist you have clearly claimed to be your favorite; planning activities you just did some days ago; fussing about stuff that has made you swoon hours before; liking or replying to every update in your profile; to the point of fooling her own self that she actually possesses similar gadgets you oh so love. Were these purely innocent co-incidences? Something iffy is progressively emanating from her personality and you couldn’t quite muster the details as to what type of sociopath she categorically belongs to. It sucks when you finally had the backbone to confront and express blazing fury on her doings just to steer clear from everything, for a fleeting second you had your hopes, but she remained just as invested in emulating and stalking as she ever was.

If only cyber coercion was possible, I would’ve done it, but why even swerve wildly off your upbringing for someone who isn’t worth your ticking time? She may have stormed the castle, but she won’t win the crown. The flattery she may have given from her gratuitous deeds is the least thing I would have hoped for when I signed up in all these accounts. It might be the most fiendish option to bust me out of a situation like this, but I couldn’t have been more delightful upon hitting the “block” button. The constant irritation I experience which I have endured for more than a year instantly disappeared, it was so liberating.  

 

In a world where everyone struggles to stand out among the crowd, mankind resort to doing a lot of unimaginable things to be able to survive the pressures of social media. But do we really need to be marginalized by these modern-day bullies that we tend to forget how easy it is to be who we are? 

 

 

 Stalk much, eh? LET’S PULL YOU BACK INTO RADICAL   NOWNESS. . .

 

 

If there’s a hundredth in a million possibility that you come across this epistle, 3 things of stringent necessities that you should know:

First, I always sardonically reply to your questions in your entire desperate attempt to begrudge me about your so-called grandeur slash pretentious way of life,

That your sneaking in my profile has all been accounted for and I have screenshots of your grammatically challenged timeline and social climbing stance, but most important of all. . .

Not only once but several thousands of times have I plotted a diabolical plan to make you realize that you’re one bad ass of a liar and I want you out of my mortal life for good because never in my spooky nightmare have I thought of partaking in all your charades and gibberish autobiography.

Over and out.