Friday, February 8, 2013

I Can't Be a Movie Critic

While I was watching Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, a self-made blah-blah bludgeoned my awareness in monstrous slow motion, in what degree or measure do we rely on to say that a movie is good, or too good, or okay good. Will the special effects matter (of course), or the settings & costumes & props (always), the stars in the film (my personal and default basis for watching), or perhaps musical scoring (OST's are major plus)? Dude I don't really know!

Consider me as someone who buys ticket because of gossips that a movie is worth the buck coz it's a major hit, or when a friend invited me to watch with her when she's gone schizo to the core, or grotesquely (but honest-to-goodness) because of the popcorn itself (Okay, movie dates count too). But as for the bounds why after the light turns on inside the movie house that I usually but not always say i have enjoyed the whole film, still, that's for me to cipher. I don't actually have the particular requirement whenever I choose something to spend my time and money on. I am no movie critic (need not explain), I know nothing about film production (or any thing that comes with creating a movie even on computers), and most especially I have zero knowledge in acting (at least according to my best girlfriend). There are just a few films that I didn't like. Imagine how shallow of a movie goer I am, and I am so damn valiant about that. 


I'm the type who dies while watching Devil Wears Prada for the 459th time because I was girl-crushing Emily Blunt and totally fawning on those bags and shoes; the one who has seen 50 First Dates for 6 times in one day (that's around 12 hours of my entire Saturday, mathematically) because I've gone completely insane on Drew Barrymore's pink shirt and blonde hair while she's having breakfast at the cafe, realizing that I'm falling in love with Adam Sandler's wit; and perhaps the only one in the universe who still cries at Memoirs of A Geisha while I hear it play in my iPad before finally succumbing to slumber every night. Infantine, superficial, lunatic and plain dumb. In one violent shudder, i could shove up all of these and  eventually find new sets of movies to luster on.  

So that's about it, asking me what movie you should watch next might make you regret why you even consulted me in the first place (don't tell me I didn't warn you). The next phrase you'll hear most likely is how I gush about the unparalleled title or a shriek of frustration because it turned out so different from the book I read or any creepiness I am capable of blurting out. Quizzically, you might have to rush away from where I am. 

The progress of quality in our movies today seem tumultuous and that makes me so ecstatic. I plan to stay that way you know, to just be wholly quenched on the whimsicality of a flick even if it wasn't Oscars or Golden Globe worthy. I simply don't have the time to wrangle with my psyche and bother. Make me laugh, think a bit, cry all night or be candidly awe-struck, that movie for me is pressingly good, or okay good, whatever. Just deal with it.